192 for dates

Just read this on The Huffington Post. A woman was arrested in the U.S. for calling 911 operators and asking them out on dates. That's a kind of emergency.

Don't judge. You know you've been there. If you're in the São Paulo area, the number for emergencies is 192.

using the internet for good

I don't care what nationality you are, school pictures are the fucking worst. And this tumblr, Bad Yearbook Photos (found via The Huffington Post), lets us know that everyone has suffered through it. It says, "it's ok, you are not alone." This is why God invented the internet.

(I would totally do this last guy here.)

david brought me back

And also my friend L. This is a blog that has a low, low readership. Which suits me fine. I am of the philosophy that the fewer people who read what I have to say about the world and its inhabitants, the better.

So it's been a while. Wish I had a better excuse for not writing other than "I wasn't feeling it". But that is pretty much my excuse. I wasn't feeling it.

So aside from L. having brought me back, I encountered this picture on people.com.

What the fuck is this. I don't even want to know.

You can always count on The Hoff, can you not?

the mother

My mother arrived about week ago.

While I am in the shower last night, she bursts into the bathroom to ask me about dinner. I am in the nude, bathing myself, and she stands in front of the shower asking me about dinner. I get that she has wiped my ass in my early infancy and seen me naked various times. But I am 30 years old and I AM IN THE SHOWER.

She's staying for a few more weeks.

in recovery

I've been feeling under the weather these past weeks, hence the long absence. Time has been spent recovering both physically and emotionally. It's because last week The Grandmother told me I looked fat. She's a mean son of a bitch.

no, no, no.

This is not right. This is very wrong.

I'm going to go vomit now.

happy easter

My Easter weekend has consisted of:

1. going to a great lunch with L. yesterday (will write about restaurant soon),

2. later followed by a party where a guy told me that he pictured me naked,

3. and Easter lunch today with all the crazies in my family, which includes my grandmother, who told me, essentially, that my outfit looked like shit.

All in all, a very good Easter.

"homeless chic"

Nobody knows the identity of "Brother Sharp", a nickname given to this homeless man from Ningbo, China. But after a resident of Ningbo posted a picture of him online, Brother Sharp has become an icon of "homeless chic" (read full article on The Independent).

(images via Yahoo! Brasil Notícias)

You can't deny his good looks. You can't deny he has "style". However...

There is something really fucked up about this.

R.I.P. Corey Haim

Corey Haim has died from an accidental overdose at the age of 38.

(image via here)

R.I.P. Mark Linkous

Gone too soon.

ten things about the Oscars

1.

Best dressed.

2.

Truth be told, Ben Stiller scared the shit out of me. I might have peed a little.

3.
I love you, Sandra.

4.

"Shut the fuck up or I'm gonna bash your head in with the Oscar."

5.

It's official. Tina Fey and Robert Downey Jr. have to make a movie together.

6.

His Dudeness.

7.

Tribute to the great John Hughes... touched me to the CORE.

8.

Yes, Charlize, we know where your breats are located in your anatomy.

9.

You could always count on JLo to wear the most unflattering garment in any event.

10.

Mariah Carey and her infant husband.

cats in SP

A Brazilian production of the musical Cats is opening March 4, here in São Paulo.

Singer Paula Lima as a... stupid cat. (imaga via abril.com)

Oh, for fuck's sake.

in related news

"Vajazzling is literally child's play. I yawn at this shit. [...] Although I'll have to admit, the first crazy bitch to get a sunburst pattern of crystals around her asshole will forever have a place in my heart."

- via coketalk

guess what

We women now have the option to bedazzle our vaginas. Or, rather, "vajazzle".

(images via The Luxury Spot)

How unimpressive are shiny vaginas? Show me a woman who can spit fire out of her woman hole and then we'll talk.

oh, william

(image via Mail Online)

What the hell happened?

paris and beer

I'm sitting on the sofa, waiting for the Carnaval parade in Rio to come on TV.

Then a commercial for Brazilian beer Devassa appears, featuring Paris Hilton .

The slogan is "bem loura". Or "really blond". You know. Blond, beer.

Whatever.

R.I.P.

(image via here)

what i like about coffee...

(image via we heart it)

... is that it makes me appreciate my life. For about half an hour.

holy shit

Chunk, from The Goonies...

became a Hollywood attorney after he grew up.

(images via Cracked.com)

Read the whole story here.

"people, what is this, is this girl ill?"

The above quote is from a fashionista sitting in the front row of one of São Paulo Fashion Week's runway shows.

(image via FolhaOnline)

An article on Folha de São Paulo today states that the models currently appearing in São Paulo Fashion Week are, in average, 18 years of age. And their Body Mass Index (BMI) is equivalent to that of 9 year old girls.

The full article can be found here (in Portuguese, of course).